Bio: Formal schooling ends with a correspondence course in Electronics Communications Technology of 1975, and without any university or college attendance.
A life long, self education with an integrated focus of arts, sciences and a search for truer knowledge is outlined below, (in alternating segments of time to focus on the main purposes developed through life).
Occupations from the 1980s through the 2020s are graphically posted here.
 Seeking independence at the age of twenty landed me in Maine, far away from home.
The choice of physical challenges in the backwoods appealed more than a college education or a conventional lifestyle or career.
At age twenty, coastal opportunities offered odd jobs but where could this lead? It lead to an inland commute beyond the mountains, with minimalist transportation, on some cheap rocky land, this was only gradually possible. Integrating multiple handyman skills could jump start the obstacle course everyday.
Strong demands tugged in opposing directions, ranging from professionalism to decentralization, aiming towards a lifestyle with minimal conformity, and learning multiple tradesman skills to support it.
Self tutoring this path was only partly and just barely possible beyond the outskirts of suburbia. I was grateful to learn about common sense from a rural perspective.
Eventually after various construction jobs, an abandoned junk yard house was available to occupy, in barter for its improvement.
It had a fully loaded outhouse with a large pile of discarded food cans, a few paces from the open well, and this was to supply drinking water. The water passed lab tests and so the hard lessons of decentralization began.
I had no camera or darkroom budget until years later when the dooryard pine fell over, crushing some junk yard stuff.
Later photos show the gradually improving conditions of what began as a barter. This kind of land restoration was "a payment for rent", to enjoy patching up a dilapidated house, and to continually work on it, and to live there.
Preliminary accommodations were a stapled plastic sheet tent, inside a tangled wreckage of disposable left-overs. Some of the rubble was hauled to the open town dump, some was burned during wet weather, and some was dutifully composted over the years.
I was glad to join the rural, Volunteer Fire Department of that time, with its official licence plate insignia, attached to my work van.
This was a radical departure from my family life, with foreign service parents, who were still stationed in Rome, Italy, serving peace in the reconstruction period since the 1950s. (My parents served the US Army and "The War Department" respectively, during WWII).
I was glad to get away from the rote learning of academia, and instead learn from life experiences. Even after some initial cleanup, a respected elder said he wouldn't pay $50 for the place. This was said as a warning.
Over the following decades, an environmentally philosophic experiment grew, as the needs of life were met.
My workshop after eight years aimed at producing income. My wife to be, Alda, had earned a masters degree from an ivy-league university, by working her way through all the strenuous requirements.
She ultimately paid off her student loans, and later paid the land owner, to buy this still dilapidated junk yard property, which was always under renovation. Her graduate school of architecture helped guide our thinking but only barely guided the way forward.
A women's presence demanded far more work and investment than I had ever imagined, at the beginning of the house barter. By 1975, we had each invested four years of our lives in serious labor and in the many renovation materials.
Nothing was easy but love drove us forward, without much foresight. Alda's prolific perennial planting kept us here, along with work like this curved wooden floor which I built into the house around 1973.
I found a pile of cheap "live edge" pine boards, to shape the floor above, somewhat like the curved wooden boat siding.
Earlier in 1969, I had found a job working for a wooden boat builder, framing and planking a curved 27 ft. sloop with oak and cedar. I had often worked alone there in the cold winter, but the high tide lapped its way right into the boat shop, to entertain life's memories, which would come in these later years.
Remediation of an old junk yard complicated the needs of establishing our home. The former junk yard tenant had stripped out steel undercarriages or frames, from the previous decades of cars, and had scattered the lighter weight body parts all around.
It was only in the 1980s, when we got rid of the "clean-up-pile", with its twelve years of raked up car parts and loose panels. These had been extracted from tangled weedy obstacles which had been strewn all about, and I stacked these along the town road, so that a mobile junk dealer could easily truck it all away.
These scraps had blocked the needed planting spaces and were a deterrent for Alda's perennial flower sales.
The soil healed with years of landscape reshaping (with the TD-6 and massive composting), and with successional planting.
Gradually the dumped crankcase oil topping, the rust, the antifreeze and brake fluids were resolved by organic composting.
We tried a bucket of the biodynamic process at first, following Rudolf Steiner's agricultural book, but later his curious concoctions and occultism proved no better than plain nature.
Signs of the depression era were still widely seen nearby, (away from the coastline communities). Repurposing of old junk could support some needs of life.
This was a forerunner of the dominant disposability of reckless commerce, which inspired a vision of Robinson Crusoe's shipwreck and his salvaging adventure.
Decentralized resourcefulness with its hard disciplined efforts seemed more appealing than blind conformity to the status quo.
A new paradigm of recycling and organic renewal was lingering from the ashes of the antiwar movement, which confronted the industrialized model of product obsolescence.
My B&W pictures suffered poor temperature control in a low budget 1970's dark room.
I came to like an old man , Lewis Newel, who lived near by, who was a locally respected repair man and mentor. He was a highly skilled decentralized mechanic, based on the post depression era in Maine.
He didn't use words like that but instead voiced many common sense opinions and facts. I was fascinated that mechanics could work in his overgrown, roadside workspace of seeming disorder.
Yet Lewis did maintain a curious kind of relaxed order beyond visible appearances. Mechanical skills was one of my goals, and found an affordable working model in this rough , hard hewn example.
Photo Below: Lewis Newell welding my nearly-dead machine. He showed me that oil filled gear boxes of old machinery, could be welded without draining the gear oil, (and this was sufficient for very old machines). This stopped the leak.
Rural humility balanced out the professional classism, and a friendly midpoint was needed to pay for life's needs. House renovations were the typical market demand, but with few creative opportunities.
We were able to remodel a forsaken junk yard, but in 1975 we had to pay the accumulated price, or leave it and get out.
Alda wanted a house addition fairly suddenly, and her professional status would also pay for a mortgage, and the owner calculated that he could comfortably multiply his asset, of those few short years.
Alda's studio is shown under construction, in 1975, soon after the purchase, but we had not determined a master plan for the house, nor the property, nor a married life.
We simply had to speedily make a sunny studio space for Alda's home office, while she began a government mapping contract phase, for income. We continually adapted to various circumstances.
Challenging conditions jogged all plans, and fortunately my parent's land near Washington DC was sold to help my siblings and I manage with our lives. I immediately bought a rickety old TD-6 tractor to handle junk, compost and massive earth moving, drainage management, rock sorting and cellar remediation, during the following years.
By the mid 1970s, I had earned a diploma from The Cleveland Institute of Technology, through a correspondence course, although I could not afford the lab components which would have vastly improved my learning. Early every morning I studied for two hours before the physical labor of contracting work in the surrounding area.
Understanding of electronics technology had always been a goal since childhood, but the job opportunities of working as a technician involved moving or commuting to distant job sites, and full time commitments were required. I was contentedly occupied by working on contracting odd jobs, closer to home, with four day weeks.
Around 1972 our FM radios, (which were still novel for Maine homes and cars), pulled in the Maine affiliate of the nation wide Public Broadcasting Service PBS, and this service was sharing the democratic, peace enhancing ideals of the 60s, along with assorted educational resources, including support for the anti war movement, during the final years of The Viet Nam War.The peaceful period in the 1970s inspired some hope but by the 1980s and 1990s, the NPR version of idealism was thinning out into boring political agendas. We could barely receive the PBS TV signal and the NPR programing was audible while I worked at improvements on our gradual house improvements.
Egalitarian conceit elevates arbitrary equality at the risk of robotizing individuality. The higher humanist ideals, by inadvertent mandates of equality for the masses, which should replace any contextual exceptions, (to the mandate of equality). Attempts are made to explore this abbreviated scenario, in my life story.
Aside from many fine broadcasts, one sector or another of the corporate control, revealed its biases in the restrictive range of NPR programing. I am grateful for the opportunity to have followed it, as little else was easily available, at all. NPR did update my need to know about the secular standards of the day, while it lacked some other sides of the life view.
I was attempting to find and study diverse systems of knowledge, as could be found through limited publications and presentations, and contrasting examples found, to synthesize an integrated overview. Gratefully, a structural approach could sort it all out, to maintain an independent balance.
My structural style was neither traditional, nor contemporary, and the prevalence of unfinished details discouraged potential customers. Newly developing needs would suddenly modify earlier procedures. Low paid skill levels were in demand, but breaking away from societal conventions was not a selling point.
Around the mid 70s, an opportunity to rescue another deserving acquaintance arose, (someone from Alda's university acquaintances), and this involved curious techniques learned in the adventurous schooling of my teens
We liberated someone who was suddenly and forcefully institutionalized under lock and key. Somehow we were able to get a friend legally released under our supervision, and take him home with us.
An intensive intervention followed, to free an incapacitated mind, which was engulfed in a drugged state, which took us over two weeks to free. Good food, endearing friendship and stabilizing results were managed with repeatedly focused exercises, where our friend could gather his senses.
A stable state was reached where an ability to function at a rational level, and travel to Boston alone, to get certain unusual life repairs and further advancements, of which I had learned about in my teens.
I was rewarded with a commission to get advanced training recorded on reel to reel tape, along with their specialized library. I was able to continue with my rural life uninterruptedly, while digging deeper in my studies.
The lectures could be heard while I worked on our house, and the library offered much to scan through and to contemplate. I could compare all my varied sources of knowledge aimed at higher learning.
With another sizable commission, I bought some sort of "promising processing" which proved to be horrendous. I experienced the untruthfulness of that system. I immediately broke all ties with its organization, just before the new year of 1979. I recall driving back to Maine on a clear cold night, with the wind blowing through the doors of my old old telephone van, driving up Interstate 95.
Alda had known better and had stayed home that time. It was easy for both of us to drop the fallacies, and reorganize our misplaced trust. We refocused our attention on our slow paced house renovation, and all the other jobs which were needed support our living.
The makeshift phase pictured below consisted of low cost, reusable materials for sheathing, and also as a toggling stage, before the single handed dome construction could begin. The local community was predominantly low income in those decades, and solar plastics were a little known material, which I hunt to hunt down, 100s of miles away.
Photo Above- Our first greenhouse expansion in 1978? In those days, Alda was possibly the first to market a wide variety of seed grown perennials as a small home enterprise. Before this time, perennials were rarely sold nearby.
Interested plant buyers from far and wide came to discover perennial seedlings, after finding her post card or poster promotions. Local plant vendors had been selling annual plants almost exclusively, (lasting only for a summer).
We regularly updated our self promotion and small business offerings. Gradually after the 1980s, big box stores and NAFTA reached the rural areas, beginning the gradual globalization of everything, and this replaced the former rural culture based on individualized, personal proprietors.
This was a gradual development and we, as home based innovators, kept jumping from job niche to job niche, to adapt our lives.
In 1980, I framed our dome, right over the older square structure. For several years, the temporary greenhouse, now enclosed inside the dome, could serve as a helpful insulating layer, and ease the problems of piecemeal renovation.
Living inside a process of gradual renovation is challenging, but life's desires can blow away the impossibility, despite that logic complains about it. We aimed to balance creativity with marketing from home, and somehow pay the bills.
We reached out for potential clients with anticipation, but the offerings were not quite right for the market. A translucent dome was just too imaginative for marketability, and ours was too unfinished to attract buyers.
Yet the innovative process could fit Yankee ingenuity, and even relate to the native American wigwam architecture!
Society votes for disposability with the their purchases, and archeology attracts tourists who are passionate about old traditional relics. Was there marketability here?
Could a refashioned "archeological look" somehow prove marketable? Could easily cast art products sell? Could appealing products be invented?
Could this avoid and replace suburban jobs and daily commutes? Concrete was an affordable raw material and universally adaptable. Its technological study was very encouraging.
Geometric modeling was worked out in sand molds for concrete casting, but my decentralized vision ignored the growing tendencies of plasticised globalization, with its situational opportunism.
In the larger world, situational disparities across national boundaries were traditionally exploited, under a guise of questionable benefits and pretended world peace.
The digital revolution quelled the disparities by gradually sharing like minded thoughts, (for all levels of society). The decentralized lifestyles ultimately shared common recognition to feel befriended worldwide.
Archeologically styled stoneware was an offbeat possibility for marketing in the 1980s. It dawned on me that I had really grown up in the ruins of Rome.
Natural succession of mosses and lichens, on ancient stone sculpture suggested a 'look' to emulate. The historical basin (above) is in the prestigious Borghese Gardens in Rome, Italy.
To simulate this, cement and concrete were sand molded and sold, but the enterprise was overly homespun for buyers or business partners, or for architects.
Popular antiques may become valuable, but mankind prioritizes planned obsolescence of today's products, to indifferently waste away world resources, and this process is masqueraded as "the officially accepted model".
An artisan's poverty can be stoically tolerated, but such a one has to emotionally energize their alternative model, to power the heavily weighted struggles, in case of building an unending home development project.
Could decentralized research discover credible solutions? Not financially, because the disposable marketplace is the accepted cornerstone of market growth, while the determined innovator, is not likely to reinvent the wheel.
Emotionalized energy had to fuel a life of research and building, and the motivational music of those times too easily confused technical thought procedures, with feelings.
With self discipline, spirituality could focus on the higher devotional emotionality, supplying the daily energy, to get things done, if the things were good, or if fitting to the spiritual mandate.
To find a working understanding of the dominant symbols and beliefs which do motivate many humans, I adopted a receptive study habit of the enigmatic Urantia Book which does cover a lot of our world's spirituality and traditions. This spiritual study added a socio-psychological support for the rural isolation, (long before the world wide web).
One of its signposts was integration of "truth, beauty and goodness" which echoed in my mind as an inspiration for "Open source integration of science, art and ethics through a humble corporation." That was quite a task to properly conform legally.
Enersearch was a legal corporation, a framework to more intently raise funds from contracted work and research sales, despite its income was always negligible, as compared to usual corporations or institutions.
I had plenty of content to infuse over many years with it, but even this angle of approach could not yield significant advancement. Officiating and fund raising got in the way of research and experiments. The study of principles had no market.
The 1980s burner research was first drafted in pencil by me, and then inked over with a KOH-I-NOOR draftsman pens in Alda's hand. (The link goes to my long-standing webpage description).
My decentralized research projects began as simple notebooks and patent disclosure letters, from the 1970s, and any imagined egotism as encouraged by the world of power, was entirely removed from thoughts and intents.
The solid fuel burner focused disciplines to study and to physically experiment with, to force mental progress over the emotional, artisanal inspiration, while enduring hard and cold winters, of the mineralized manufacturing work; and observing the efficiency of space heating.
Pop culture provided the rhythmic emotionality while one could refocus attention to mentality intermittently. The word 'mental' was twisted by a manipulative ethos, to imply a disorder, and tricks like this could discourage mental development, of uncertain beginners.
Sufficient dreams can motivate constructive desires to struggle with physical challenges of building without dedicated tooling. Primitive, crude methods, emotionally-charged, made it happen.
"Cap-it-all" was an adopted slogan, for a business dream, a roofing business, to add on translucent shells, possibly even over existing roofs. Our's was an impromptu dome, made of cedar 1X4s, (almost 4X8 cm), which were hand-laminated for efficient structuring.
I was able to handle and install laminated arches with up to 25 ft. lengths, (7.6 meters), single-handedly. The whole 42 ft. (12.8 Meters), diameter dome, including the plastic sheathing came to $3,000, (the approximate 1980 prices for materials).
A floor jig was made to clamp laminated arches, and hand nail them together, as shown in photo below. Tree post were integrally framed for a future floor to be added and to save on milling costs.
"What? You want a translucent dome for an attic?" Traditionalist saw no value in a translucent solar attic, but adoption of solar utilization was accepted slowly, and many years later, green rooves have gained popularity.
Admittedly, manufactured parts are currently too restrictive for easily customizing dome structures. Admittedly the development of new ideas is avoided by people, because of of challenges and compromises We re dependent on larger group attitudes, before higher efficiencies are mass produced.
Unfit tools and makeshift jigs delayed progress, but dreaming of an idealized market was happily assuaging these problems, by ameliorating the ecological effects, (and by stretching the assumption that idealized investors were there to be found). The vision was maintained, despite the struggle.
My translucent dome has been extremely difficult to sheath with common, flat sheet materials. Also, over the years, solar plastics turn hazy, and filter out desirable sun rays, and also begins to leak, as compared with traditional, flat, and opaque roofing which lasts for longer periods of time.
There is a principled sacrifice made by pioneers who attempt ecological innovations, and possible solutions must successively jump past hurdles or fall at a loss. In the summer of 1980, the freshly sheathed result of the 42ft dome was photographed:
We sort of ignored the difficult pioneering problems and I patched together expedient solutions for everything. As a newer, more enterprising career, Alda had helped reorganize the coastal floral-wedding scene, when the marriageable age group suddenly increased and a past tradition suddenly returned– Also the AIDS epidemic (of the 1980s), had prompted many couples to suddenly marry, (and to decorate lavishly with beautiful flowers.
This business flourished for decades, but the venues and services were eventually globalized, which means that smaller profitable niches were overtaken by deeper pockets which gradually notice any evidence of prosperity, and then proceed to buy it up. Alda's floral wedding work was our best sustaining income for many years.
Ferrocement was yet another collected methodology of structuring thin shell architectural products, like the flower kitchen counter in the photo above. All of our work spaces and gardens were always in various stages of succession, and never finished in a salable condition.
An intuitive writer once suggested that domed roofing focuses cosmic knowledge into a home. Even fading translucency allows sun light to shine through, and older plants manage to tolerate the dimming effect. The plain lighting effect is very serviceable and we always loved translucency, despite the difficulties we bore as innovators.
An attic heat-pump was originally wanted; however, the search in the market place, (consisting of printed phone books for each individualized city), surprisingly lacked such products or services for my extended area, (as of 1980).
As the years passed by, I was to increasingly verify the horrible repression of good startup products, which were intimidated by jealous competitors. For example the heat pump products specifically sold for house heating were blocked from consumer markets until long after the year 2000. I had wanted to adapt such a heat pump to absorb the heat of our attic dome after 1980; however, innovative manufacturers were prevented from marketing the equipment. Actual commercial efforts were factually suppressed as documented and explained here.
The same website is extensively organized to explain utter disorder of our world. As I see it, mankind is mislead by the powers of hate, which infect mankind, until he heals. The professionally written essays promote healing of our planet.
Forty years later, the original dome sheathing remains intact and also becomes hazier underneath. Subsequently added layers periodically renewed its weather proofing. Light strength decreased while the insulation value increased.
Alda had spent decades studying and working with hardy perennials inside and outside, and initially through rock gardening and other fragrant perennial seed exchanges. We let natural succession crowd out areas for periods of time, until we got around to clearing out the invasive weeds and cleaning up construction wastes.
Here is a funny analogy of mankind's life conditioning. We live in a sky dome evolving a soul's existence, with new layers of rebirth added over the old ones.
Lifetime after lifetime, we experience it as many times as necessary, before developing consciousness to higher levels beyond the dimmer stages passing by. We evolve through the trials and errors of mankind's evolution.
However, not so fast, as the ethos of profiteering literally enslaves populations, for power and glory, lavished only towards top, and by attrition through successive ages, by misguiding the status quo, which gradually reaps the ecological devastation, from a wrongheaded classism sown, and forgotten ages passing by. We can improve on this.
Reincarnation was thoroughly suppressed by the western power-mongers, even stemming from the emperors who promoted tedious theologies of the past. A popular attitude asserts, "you only live once", so you might as well ignore the wasted resources and pollution, with quips like "not in my backyard".
Sadly in the 2000s, the gross ecological debt is politically diverted from tyrannical mismanagement, and its unaddressed pollutions. Then it is billed to the public, through taxation, and depletes the public resources, while ignoring its polluting culpability, traceable to instigators at the top, or irresponsible ignorance of silent partners.
My consciousness evolved slowly, painstakingly sorting through various illusions. The grounding of physical labor combined with study of existence through a variety of more and less relevant books and sources, and also by striving for common sense, that is, a sense of facts, and facts which we must personally verify within nature.
Did we inherit traits from ancestral genetics alone? Or had we actually retained traits as fragments of memories, from past life experiences?
Teaching this kind subject matter is nearly a forbidden even as a hypothesis of knowledge, due to complex zeitgeist-agendas, which dominate the public mind ad academia.
Mankind has been offered assistance many times, but the desires that motivate the buyer, can sometimes misguide, and the will to develop knowledge is then fumbled, and this has spoiled the the grounds for greater understanding of life and its necessary purposes.
Robotic parroting without self development, instead of discovering firmer consciousness, has stagnated men over many lifetimes. Does the man get stuck in dull patterns, life after life, until better patterns are tried?
Consciousness development liberates mankind while the shadowy power of monopolization deplores its loss of unaware slaves. Decades passing, of internet bloggers is sharing countless ways to live more freely, according to personalized lifestyle types. These are just first steps to sorting out what will motivate succeeding generations.
Entrapment by personalized, slavish disabilities of us all, has been gradually dissected and quietly remedied, through incarnated human benefactors, including the best scientists and cultural leaders, (improving the opportunities for human evolution).
Overly used emotional entrapments have ingrained cumbersome attachments. Knowing that the new awareness of ecology should lead us all away from the war economy, challenges us to test unfamiliar substitutions, which could replace the industrial havoc.
I'm thankful for the freedom to attempt innovations and yet decades later, to find little shared interest in this kind of work. The Socratic realization, to the effect "that we know nothing worth knowing" was a better realization, and this was hardly heard at all, as evidenced by hardened obsessions with delusory emotionality, (including my own).
For a while "Cap-it-all" green roofing became a business dream. Apparently the raw concept could not sell-- "What? You want a translucent dome for an attic?" "What, you bother with domes when sheathing is flat?" The visionary ignores those issues.
Solar plastics do turn hazy, filtering out wanted sun rays and wearing out in that process, but testing its many other benefits for tomorrow's translucent-materials, was our worthwhile sacrifice.
General construction materials and processes ignore the waste streams produced on the whole, which increase the bulk of disposable materials, (and entropic waste in general). This is compared with conservational life styles which never taught at large.
From a small budget standpoint, cedar 1X4s were hand-laminated for efficient structuring. I was able to handle and place laminated arches with up to 25 ft. lengths, (7.6 meters), single-handedly.
The whole 42 ft. diameter dome, including the plastic sheathing came to $3,000, (the approximate 1980 prices for materials).
Our poorly controlled darkroom for 35mm film blurred most photos except for a few colored film rolls, sent out for postcard size prints.
By 1990 or so, the patched together image above, (a widened, spliced together view mostly bordering the town road), looked like this (from our dome top). Learning and laboring to restore the soils was gratifying but still needed outside income from jobs to pay for its added expenses.
The energy to work it all out was only more recently, fully appreciated, to come from the emotional world, which can be studied as the motivation and driving power for all human work, which physically sustains human life.
I needed to study a very wide range of explanations to understand human emotions, as its resulting energies are not sufficiently explained by themselves, nor by academia.
Here is where this writing must introduce the inner core of life's motivation, and portray how long it took to humanly understand any of the unidentified human states, which apparently, really are emotions.
A dictionary says: "a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others, etc..", all of which presents a super wide range of states of being, which are not yet formalized in psychology.
It took a lifetime to cross examine the thin threads of possible truths, which could be found. Even given a good childhood and an early start of freer, moderate sustenance, even then, the energizing vitality was also susceptible to distracting arbitrariness.
Popular vibrations can easily stalemate the soul, and drown all innate potentiality. The big power trips of careerism are also very distracting, so that learning some humility preserves a little progress for the soul.
A peaceful period with amnesty for U.S. war resisters occurred in 1970s enabling all kinds of freer discourse, to engage the learned of academia, and separately to criticize the abusive authoritarians; however, the emotional world of feelings and attitudes too easily fell into the leisure found with peace.
Meanwhile barbaric forces of unseen powers, never stopped, and instead perpetuated a less noticeable crescendo of perpetual wars to inaugurate the new century, with an effectively stealthy psyops, (which might target anyone). All of which divides and confuses human loyalty, when we need unity first and foremost.
The image above represents an experimental concept of ringed reinforcement. It was gradually realized as valuable principle, applicable to the experimental enersearch list of projects. It was tested in different forms, to help balance the physical scrabble of life.
From youth, alternative paradigms and symbols, as found in spiritual books had strongly motivated my drive to search for knowledge, as did one amazing adventure story, which locates an authentic ancient brotherhood, in the Himalayan mountain range, administered by benign and enlightened teachers.
Tyrannical leadership has always jealously opposed such teaching, so as to maintain covert, if not overt slavery, over a nation or over an empire, by distorting the public emotionality, with uncounted devices.
The nameless influences behind the scenes subdue the zeitgeist of all times, and most insidiously, by complicating the approach to "true knowledge", instead of simplifying this particular approach to necessary knowledge.
The many yous you are, are normally observable emotional changes, where the personality adjusts to the differential contexts, (and the 'yous' means the plural states of you, as the moods or the attitudes change, from one point in time to another).
This is a handy sense of understanding the personal self and is not found in the mainstream. It is a perspective approach to relax the useless internal chatter, and refocus the mind, and disconnect thought from emotional attachments, for those who can entertain or explore the unrecognized states of self.
A particular book "Meetings With Remarkable Men", by G.I. Gurdjieff, was enjoyably understandable both for thought and for emotional drive, as it harmonized the preferable symbols all into one manageable whole.
It advanced some bold ideas addressing the advancing psychology, (leading up to the mid 1900s), providing some options to establishmentarianism.
Gurdjieff's deeper teachings, brought from afar, about the many selves deserving recognition, the "emotional self" and "self-remembering" were initially missed by me due to the busy body passions of the the 1970s and the lack of so focussed a community as the book described.
Only four decades later could I find the closer semblance of guidance, as could barely be recalled from Gurdjieff, through the free exchange of information on the internet. The long endurance tests for rationality could finally find a fit.
The best explanation of human existence was more comprehensively explained by Pythagorean Hylozoics, (finally found here, with gratitude, and only in 2018).
Its long rooted teachings of "true knowledge" are attributed to an internationally hidden brotherhood, long existing throughout history, (and not to be confused with any other link or source.
It wasn't until after many years of the global internet development, that multiple, independent resources could readily appear, and after that the seeker could compare multiple comprehensive texts, and do this from a remote home.
Excessive reading and overly intense study was easily balanced here by living a physically active life and a modestly sociable life, and that was mostly found in the service industry as a small contractor.
For decades I was stuck with only loose fragments of "true knowledge" borrowed and smudged in between other distractions, which confused the search.
The Philosopher’s Stone by Henry T. Laurency http://laurency.com/, written in a studious form, was preliminarily read at first, to gauge its content and wide extent.
Skeptical for months and accustomed to let downs, new explanations of existence are gradually assessed. A general confidence of validity grew from the likes of the following excerpts:
2 THE ESOTERIC WORLD VIEW " ....Ignorance acquiring knowledge is a search that for eons means a roving, until insight and understanding finally find the way to apply the knowledge of reality and life expediently."
A whole cosmic system promised to make some sense through Larency's distinctive hylozoics. These are much too contextually detailed to grasp quickly. Succeeding reads are required to sink it all in. Next from:
3 ESOTERIC LIFE VIEW "...Consciousness is one, only one, a unity, the unity of all. Development means, as seen from the consciousness point of view, expansion of consciousness through the merging of the individual self – with its self-identity intact – into greater and greater units of consciousness, until cosmic consciousness has been achieved. Unity does not imply any abolition of individual freedom. On the contrary, it means increased freedom. Because the merging into ever vaster units of consciousness means greater insight into the worlds of material reality, greater understanding of life and its expressions, greater knowledge of the law."
For now a comprehensive set of readily downloaded books are available for deeper study. I got permission to convert the digital texts into mp3 audio recordings, (for personal use only). The texts are easily converted by apps or software which has better computerized voices. The options vary as time passes, but computerized texts vocally read to me finally embrace the suddenly available books of truer knowledge.
Rather than revolutionary, these freely available books clarify all of man's involutionary problems of life, which are said to have stagnated too long, in terms of unprogressive incarnations, of rebirths where, by force of bad habits we backwardly developed our societies.
Involution is a long term schedule of repetitive birthing into this world, (for us on this world and for other races on other worlds). It is well worth grasping the mechanics of this phenomena, in addition to grasping the purpose of it all!
Backwardness in society lingers only due to the bad habits, which dwell or which sow too far away from unity. Therefore we reap the consequential repulsive effects. As souls may repel others in one life, and then in a subsequent life, receive the back swing of repulsion as, some sort of matching effect in another life, apparently until tiring and overcoming power trips of repulsion as personalities with bodies.
Thanks to science, some progress is made, and leisure was increased for all, for self developments! Sadly, scientism gets in the way of self developments, with greedy hidden agendas, to the unwary. May science discover the error of supporting glory and power, and instead liberate the scientist from the fetters of glory and power.
"... It is man, who in his almost total ignorance of life fancies that he can judge everything, who so far has all but made a mess of everything. When will he realize that with all his technology and civilization he knows nothing worth knowing when it comes to life? ..." (http://www.laurency.com An excerpt from: Knowledge of Life Three).
Far beyond recited archeology of ancient Greece, hylozoics imparts the Sokratean realization, that as a man, one...
"knows nothing worth knowing, that man on his own is not in a position to acquire a knowledge of the goal of existence and of the method of reaching that goal. He realizes the insufficiency of religion, philosophy, and science in that respect. " http://www.laurency.com Excerpt from Knowledge of Life Two
Consciousness studies have been a touchy subject, due to the rarity of comprehensive, system thinking, which has too long been unimportant to the sponsors of educational institutions.
Laurency's sudden appearance should not be confused with anything found in the pop culture. There are always profiteers and borrowers, misstating and somehow publishing flashy words and claims, at the expense of higher truths, and this can mislead us. I have been mislead many times, but with perseverance got on to better tracks.
I was caught up in various kinds or these mixed vibrations, introduced into our times, which sapped some years, and which delayed self realization, but instead of complaint, I suggest that alertness can be developed and well used.
My work of the 1980s through the 2020s is crudely posted at links behind each thumbnail on my linked index page.
My parents both worked all day, so I was left alone to explore outside instead, (from a very young age). I tried to escape school indoctrination but was fortunate to have some good teachers, who also found ways to call me back from cloud nine. They did try, but I was more interested in nature of the outdoors, like the valley between my school and my home.
I left home to find my independent way in 1967 at age 18, officially a graduate from The Overseas School of Rome, (OSR, an expat high school). In my childhood explorations, I found a washout in this valley pictured below, and the erosion had revealed triangular shaped bricks, rare even for ancient Roman archeology.
I had a childhood mystical experience possibly to show the impermanence of life. I have since learned, that the larger area became a nature preserve, according to google maps.
Before digital cameras existed, this clear print was hand made with wet chemicals and manual dial settings, (by our classmate- photographer).
This particular valley was a regular hangout for the nature boys, and childhood friends, forever lost in the human shuffling of changing times and locations.
I situationally avoided the 50th reunion with my old, (twelfth grade) classmates, held in 2017. I had chosen a low maintenance life style instead, far removed from the status quo.
This detachment liberates the mind and soul. Considering that the earth is like a sinking ship, could not fit such proud reunion ceremonies, as proven by private emails which could not approach deeper subject matters.
The Club of Rome, with its activities of 1967 could never be imagined at OSR, in 1967, nor anywhere until more recent internet disclosures have been reported in the mainstream.
The international implications seem impossible to discuss very rationally, even when its long hidden agendas are partly revealed, because the power struggles and factions are forever shuffled to confuse the observer. There are observers in our world.
Parents may try their best to find constructive environments for their children, but the psychopathically dominated world forces work at selling "fake truths".
The lies are well concealed inside corner stones, of otherwise sturdy foundations. This fakery ultimately instigates class warfare, which sets back the family of man. We need peace.
To temporarily find a better fit for me, away from bad influences in my youthful acquaintances , mom had sent me to The Mountain School in Vershire, Vermont, (TMS, in its 2nd scholastic year, with 14 students total, in 1965), a school which was actually building itself!
The required construction and other job activities were excellent attractions for me, but the physical labor was not academically credited.
We began renovation of the old dairy barn that year, gradually transforming it into classrooms, followed by gutting out hay loft, to open up the ceiling of a library room. These work jobs involved a couple of hours in the afternoon.
I proposed that a case of a factory which replicated an identical factory within itself would fit that official definition. Was that not a condition of self replication?
Robots were usually considered an unacceptable fantasy, in the 1960s, apparently. Yet today it is more or less an acceptable subject for discussion. There were no such factories at that time, so the student was duly invalidated.
Academics lost hold of me there and I was to be kicked out of TMS for the graduating year, (twelfth grade). Memorized lessons with boring content were ignored, while other legitimate and keen interests were not available to engage with. The social education was excellent, however.
Thanks to my mother, I was given a rare chance to experience an unusual British school, in the fall of 1966, (Chilton Cantello School, in Somerset , England). Again the curriculum was strictly memorization outside of my interests. Students were of mixed international origins, which at least expanded the global perspective, but no stimulus for memorization occurred. I had to bicycle my way for hours each way, to attend the SAT examinations, (for US Students), which ranked me in the lowest score range.
I was motivated by some aspects of the English culture, but returning to OSR in January 1967 placed me under an Irish poet, for an English teacher. He disliked my major essay, where I wrote about Bob Dylan's lyrics. I graduated with the lowest possible grades that year, but was very glad for the release.
Thankfully, a benefit could be found concerning disqualifications from formal schooling. This nurtured some rationale to avoid the robotization of indoctrination generally. Yet with imperialism dominating in those years, male youths had either to join "the draft" with its blinding patriotism, or else to capitulate with rote memorization of schools.
As a U.S. citizen, I had been accepted by a new, short-lived college in Brattleboro, Vermont– A student deferment from the draft was here legally obtained, as I wanted to repatriate to my homeland at any cost. This small startup college needed students, and it was not that my high-school records were acceptable. I worked in a nearby, antiquated and bygone paper mill for most of that preceding summer.
I had no clue how college would help with life, nor where else to develop knowledge. Just as the school year began, a new friendly student arriving there, Chris, inspired me to drop out of college and go to New York City with him.
His sophistication and his self confidence intrigued me much more than the college staff, or other students. He seemed to discuss systems of knowledge, outside of standardized matriculation. That sounded like a welcome possibility.
Alternative To College
A loosely guided adventure seemed very promising. I went tentatively at first but never actually returned to attend the college. I wanted to learn the ropes of human independence.
His stated purpose at the college was simply to get the standard, legal Draft deferment, from the ongoing Vietnam War (as this happened in the fall of 1967).
I was intrigued by Chris' adventurous enterprising and by the cultural awakening, of my generation, which resisted war. This view of world peace and youthful idealism, was motivating and deserved closer examination. Sorting out the finer ideals were not clear, but New York City promised to engage me.
NYC was overwhelming at 18. Chris was my best contact there, and he was looking into a specific opportunity of "consciousness expansion", a possible life purpose which was then popularized in the alternative media, and which was all too easily exploited, and it was distorted as well. Decades of searching and unravelling followed.
We met with his wealthy friend Steve, a son of a Madison Avenue mogul, whose family contacts could find a low cost apartment to rent, in the lower east side of NYC, and one which had been abandoned and misused for years with dusty, rifled remains of the former tenant, but this particular find included a most remarkable, leathery looking, etched, plastered wall, a relic left behind by the long departed, previous tenant.
This was increasingly inspiring. Hard adventure seemed like a better education. They had no cash in their pocket being city-wiser, and so I was asked to pay out some scarce cash dollars for the down payment, to rent the very interesting, small apartment on Bowery Street, (E 3rd street).
The apartment had been abandoned and disused for decades. We started to haul trash out, but... I also needed to get my few belongings from Vermont and first do a small carpentry job elsewhere, plus resolve my life plans.
By the time I got back to NYC, after a month or so, my new friends convinced me to study this Scientology thing, which they had been trying out during the previous year, at its international head quarters in England.
This enigma sounded promising as it offered immediately practical exercises which were boastfully promoted. At that time my new friends were admiringly speculating about the higher realms of attainment, which were claimed. These of course would cost thousands of dollars, which would super charge one to live very well, with newly found powers, (and money).
I found some parts of books interesting to scan through, and some of the exercises were immediately helpful, but the overly zealous behaviors of its staff members had to be avoided.
The older e-meter and its processes were intriguing and the preliminary course materials actually taught a few readily usable pointers, mostly about effective communication skills, and a tiny bit about self healing.
An advancing teaching and practice focussed on emotional-resolution skills, all of which were mapped out in a chart of human emotions, from the lowest up to the higher emotions. The big lesson here, was that contemporary psychology had not bothered to technologize the emotional scale numerically, but rather only this boastful source knew it all.
Academic teachings seemed to lack any chart for scaling through anything like emotions. These several preliminaries affirmed the sense that one needed this kind of advanced information, to live a productive life.
The stylish attributes of my older friends captivated my interest. One incident even cured a flue like condition for me at one point, (when an uplifting job was offered to me, at a low emotional point, of boring employment).
This incident was promising, as it surpassed conventional practices of medicine, which required longer convalesce and were therefore inferior. I had actually dissolved a flu in one instant, as a sudden moment's outcome.
I became fascinated with the inducements like "total control over matter, energy, space, and time" or "being at cause". Practical routines helped me overcome shyness and to use bolder communications skills, but the higher level claims were untouchable.
Boastful elitism was red flagged, and I struggled with that atmosphere of profiteering. I was working at a minimum wage job, thanks to Steve's family connections, but we soon lost touch, and suddenly my next job promised some sort of advancement.
Chris handed me his job position at a nutritionally advanced food company, recommending that I take his place. At that time in the late 1960's, this revolutionary food company occupied two floors of a warehouse at 171 Duane St, (very close to the WTC site, then just beginning construction of its first few floors).
The neighborhood was wall to wall warehouse-commerce by day, with big trucks docking and straddling the streets crosswise, and deserted by all but some homeless men at night. Pay would depend on performance, and that was OK for a start.
Infinity Foods belonged to a bold innovator, Howard Rower who calmly guided and managed those of us who would do the labor of milling grains and packaging imported foods from Japan, like miso and Tamari soy sauce, both of which came in real wooden kegs, and to primitively distribute these unadulterated foodstuffs.
I worked hard in this ware house, and learned to publish the catalog, get them quickly offset printed and sent off, take and deliver orders by phone and letters, process grains and bottling, deliver around NYC by our severely dented Citroën station wagon, and receive arriving deliveries, fix up the warehouse, and manage the dry good storage on the second and third floors. The blue faced building was the headquarters at 171 Duane Street,NY.
A half caged freight elevator, (accessible on the side street), connected the upper floors with street access. The fourth floor had Howard's remarkable collection of curiosities and the lager part of the floor was an open airy space used for silk screening and artistic operations. A couch provided my sleeping quarters. It seems he rented the fifth floor to a painter of giant, inspiring canvasses, as all these floors were interconnected without internally locked barriers.
I worked without a paycheck, drawing just enough cash to fuel the company car, with little change left over for anything, but there was a very vague promise of eventual profit sharing, were I to have stayed indefinitely.
I worked there from the spring until the fall of 1968 , because it was educational about all life. It was at the forefront of whole-food marketing, of that time, but just half a generation too early to broadly expand its reach, because "the baby boomer generation" was yet to establish families and to pay higher prices for healthier foods.
In the 1960s, depleted foods were completely dominant and the whole or unprocessed foods were unheard of, or considered backward or silly. Sadly, these depleted foods just continued getting worse, with passing time.
The popular antiwar paradigm had ushered in the ordinarily ignored health lore of all times, and was now just barely finding support from risk taking businessmen. This felt uplifting.
I loved the company logo which boasted "nothing added, nothing removed", (way ahead of the times!) We once picked up a directly imported Japanese shipment directly from the docks in Brooklyn. (I doubt those lovely wooden kegs of soy products are to be found any more). We also specialized in whole grains like brown rice, etc..
I gladly learned about Scientology's "Org Board" as a business technology, but I never did see how these things could serve small business.
Howard's main dedication was to his Scientology franchise, during that time, so I would phone him regularly for instructions, and his west village office felt like a hub of advancement.
That summer, Howard or Howie and his wife Mary, had reached the advanced "Operating Thetan" state, an alledgedly supernatural state. I got to chauffeur them to and from the airport for this short termed eventful happening.
However evidence was lacking of supernatural advancement and feats, and on reflection, some of his business tricks seemed possibly questionable. I was just nineteen and had so much to learn about what is really right.
Howie owned his own franchise on 10th Street, just a few paces from 5th Ave, and it nevertheless felt rewarding to work with him, in an old fashioned, undocumented style, as the sole worker, for most of my time there, (from the spring until fall of 1968).
Howie had operated with an attractively calm, knowledgable air, allowing me a wide latitude of freedom at Infinity Foods, but the promotional and sales operations had lacked the needed force of huge, initial investments, to pay for introductory discounts and widespread advertising.
Little could I realize back then that Howie was to expose the fallacy of Scientology Organizations, by exposing the absurdity of their higher offices! (See this PDF, which I discovered in 2020, where it entertainingly describes his interesting life and associates).
While my new found community in NYC promoted a total freedom from disease and drugs, the rest of the world appeared backward with their inferior dependencies. Even today in the 2020s, the monopolies of commerce and industry, appear to promote disease care rather than promote healthy living.
There were a dozen small health food stores in NYC and only one restaurant to which we delivered our products-- It was called The Paradox Restaurant, on East 7th street, of that time. I could afford healthy dinners there when delivering orders all about town.
I loved The Paradox Restaurant and its tiny New York backyard, with an advanced, handmade, structural framework, an actual geodesic dome, all hand bolted together, when slide rulers were used for the math, even before hand held calculators were commonly available.
The menu was mostly macrobiotic with deliciously fresh vegetables cooked with Infinity's dry goods and its Japanese Imports. A couple of times I earned my meal by washing dishes, to save money.
The Paradox patrons quietly affirmed mental acuity, amid a melting pot of a big city. There were some alternative thinkers discussing eastern meditations, and western mysticism, to contrast subjects of the cultural revolution.
Back To The Land
At one point, I was hitch hiking in Connecticut on a weekend break from Infinity. My long hair and woven basket full of my clothing, made me fit the moment. A young and happy couple with two very young children were just returning from Maine.
The mom was driving at that point and said she liked my travel-basket, so that is why she suddenly decided to stop their converted school bus, with its antique school insignia. They said they were starting a commune up north.
I asked if I could qualify and was essentially promised acceptance. It took a longer than expected delay for them to write a reply which said they were still preparing their rural property, in Appleton, Maine, (which had the feeling of this photo). Even after duly giving notice to Howie of my departure, I got stuck, adrift in NYC for some long additional months of other less compelling experiences.
Around June or July of 1969 I finally moved to Maine. I was graciously notified upon arrival, that the commune plan had just been cancelled. That I could fix up an abandoned shack on their property, with their support for materials and possibly some food, in exchange for the physical labor, but none of the hippy-commune image should be mentioned to anyone, as this label was complicating neighborly relationships. (Thanks to big media for defaming peace lovers who opposed the raging Viet Nam war).
Without today's internet, I had only paper publications and no TV, no FM radio, and no telephone, (driving a half hour to a pay phone). My host's copies of The Whole Earth Catalogue and printed media allowed me to examine the perspectives of our cultural revolution, as there was barely any other contemporary resources to learn from.
Rural isolation was both helpful avoiding the delaying influences, and for attempting self disciplinary and self inventive habits. Other than those disciplines, the emotional world with all of its irresistible influences was ever ready to distract and entice at the off balance moment.
Only much later in 2018 could I find the ancient hylozoic knowledge which aptly formulates a higher knowledge, the basis of which was too early to release in Plato's time. Plato's own deeper sources reserve and release teachings gradually to our world, and currently it remains for us in the early 2020s, to look at the vulnerability of our democracy.
An interpretation can be made, that Sokrates was sentenced to death for "impiety towards authority", by freeing and opening minds to ask penetrating questions. Could covert fascism of the 2020s, wrongly condemn a minority, for their peaceful resistance against medical tyranny?
Plato's freely available books can be downloaded, by copy-pasting this title, "Apology Also known as The Death of Socrates by Plato", and pasting it into your search engine, or Google. The deeper lesson of this book sheds needed light on the problems of today.
Back to my story of settling in Maine...
During the fall of 1969, and by extraordinary chance I found another unpaid job of chauffeuring two striking heirs (of my age), around the Camden Maine social scene. The older brother was a listless, recovering drug addict. The younger one had smashed up a lavish sport car, and had lost his driver's license. They didn't object to the temporary arrangement.
Their gracious mother trusted me and primarily my affirmations against drugs, (which still hung with me in those years). Yet, as the officially promoted tradition insists, alcohol was their boring focus and hopes of business sponsorship proved ineffectual. I was grateful though, to meet my age group.
I was soon shingling houses and framing 2X4s along the snowy, windy Maine coast, soulfully avoiding the mandatory patriotism of that day, which glorified the war against tiny Viet Nam. Providing one did right by others, there was no conflict regarding this attitude.
The priority was to find tradesmen jobs at better than minimum wage, or to find bartering arrangements, to enable settling somewhere on the land. In our twenties, the available jobs were fewer than our suddenly increased numbers of job seekers, (of the WWII baby boom). Job opportunities were not always immediately available and creative or experimental building ideas were far less in demand.
Failure of society to evolve beyond the dependencies on systematized- destructiveness, (which is commodified hate), is edging the physical and emotional worlds towards annihilation.
There has always existed the simpler solution of prioritizing unity over all proceedings, but instead mankind has accepted resolutions rooted in forms of hate.
Getting over hate universally can solve all problems in the long run, and may this writing commiserate with laborers in the innovative fields of our time.
Thankfully, a ruralist decentralization could potentially provide a detour around the system constraints.
Mankind could work on a friendlier side of life, as all life is one.
Decentralizing from hateful situations is an effective form of emancipation, for one and for all.
From Pythagorean Hylozoics
" The law of freedom says that every being is its own freedom and its own law, that freedom is gained through law. Freedom is the right to individual character and to activity within the limits of the equal right of all."
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